SPEAKING SKILLS

1)      BE AWARE OF BODY LANGUAGE/NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR.

Yours – Make direct eye contact.  Use confident, self-assured tone of voice.  Speak loudly enough for others to hear.  Insure that your facial expressions and body gestures are congruent with your words.

Listener - Is posture open, relaxed and interested, or closed, yawning, looking around the room and bored.  If listener is not attentive then you are not speaking effectively enough to have captured his/her interest.

2)    WORD DEFINITIONS

Check for common meaning for any word whose          definition may be unclear.  Ex: “When I use this word I mean ……………….” “What does this word mean to you?”

3)      BE NONJUDGMENTAL/ SPEAK TO WHERE THE LISTENER IS COMING FROM.

If possible be aware of the listener’s vocabulary, culture, age and biases, and speak to these. 

4)      BE SPECIFIC

Use a minimum of words and stick to the subject.  Don’t ramble or drift away from your main points.  BE BRIEF, BE BOLD, BE GONE! 

5)      WHEN SHARING FEELINGS USE FEELING WORDS AND “I STATEMENTS”.

Ex:  “I feel ________________when __________________________and I need/want/wish ______________________________________.”

6)      CLARIFY!

Ask for feedback to insure your message is being received as intended.  Ex: “It would be helpful for me if you’d tell me what you just heard me say.” “Are you hearing that I’m feeling insecure?” 

7)      SUMMARIZE

Pull together all facts and feelings that you’ve shared.  Ex: “To summarize, our goal here is to increase sales by 30% by the end of the quarter.”  “So, the bottom line is that because I didn’t get that promotion I’m feeling insecure about my position with the company, and uncertain about where to go from here.”